The Toxicity around “Dream Jobs”
It’s one of the classic career cliches: “If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.”
There is a lot wrong with this idea. This adage is intimidating AF. It insinuates that if we feel like we are working, we don’t love our careers. Work is work. I enjoy my job, but it certainly can feel like work. A lot of people don’t like their jobs and most certainly do not love their job. In fact, according to a 2022 research summary conducted by Zippa, data analysts found that in the wake of the great resignation/migration (depending who you ask) and a shaken economy, only 20% of Americans describe being truly passionate about their work.
Does that mean that most of the population should feel pressure or shame that they aren’t fulfilling their idea of a “dream job?”
What is a dream job?
When I was younger, (and in college), I thought that one day I would eventually come to the realization of what I was meant to do. I guess I expected a major “aha” moment. I haven’t had it and candidly, don’t ever think I will. A year post-grad and into my full-time career, I have a lot of takeaways about the pressure we put on ourselves to identify this meaningful purpose in terms of our work. Ideally, is your work motivated by what you are passionate about? For some, maybe, but not for all. In taking purpose into account, one also has to consider means of earning. A perfect, purpose-driven position may not fulfill the economic requirements or lifestyle one prioritizes and vice versa. In a Forbes article, Stacey Gordon of Rework Work shared a relevant assertion: “A Dream Job Isn't Always The One That Pays You.” This needs to be more talked about.
“We want to love the work we do, and it isn’t always realistic to expect our jobs to harness the passion within us. Since work is such a large part of our lives, it only makes sense that we want to make it more enjoyable. What motivates you and brings you joy may not be the thing that pays the bills. Sometimes, looking outside of work will fill your soul while your job fills your wallet. ”
Here’s what I think.
I think the idea of one “dream career” is a cop out. For some, like Justin Bieber who probably always wanted to be an entertainer, it works. For others, different jobs suit us at different points in our lives. For instance, when you are 18, being an ice cream scooper is most likely not your dream, but it is a fun job that allows you extra spending cash on the weekends, independence, and a taste of responsibility, or preparation for the “real” world. When you are 23, maybe the entry level investment banking job is fulfilling because of compensation, learning experience, company name, etc, whereas at 32 if family becomes your priority, that dream job that requires you to work 80 hours no longer suits your lifestyle. You adapt, and find a new dream job that allows time for your other responsibilities. For someone who values earning potential over passion, we can apply the same principle. An individual who values a job that pays less earlier in their career, but gives them more time and freedom may find themselves wanting to pursue a different career with the opportunity to make more as their life expenses increase.
See, that’s the thing, priorities change. And the formula of a perfect “dream job” does not account for the variable of life in the equation. It also is not universal.
Not everyone thinks of jobs the same way.
The pressure to identify this “dream” is astronomical. I just had this conversation with a close friend. I asked her what her “dream job” was. She looked at me dead in the face and admitted that she didn’t have one. “I don’t want to work,” she said. Let’s normalize that! She clarified that she aspires to be a stay at home mom, which is, most certainly, work. Regardless, the same way it is unfair to societally expect that all women want to have children, it’s also unfair to assume that all individuals want to have a lifelong career. For some, a job that allows them the means to afford what they need or want is plenty, and to me, that’s just as admirable as the executive chasing the shorefront beach house.
There is a tradeoff.
I love this brand that I am building. I love that I am now, running it as a business. I love what I do, but I do not always love all that comes along with it. It is a lot of work, time, and sacrifice. Sometimes I ask myself why I care so much when the growth is slow, when haters say negative things, when I am instructing interns, paying subscriptions, coordinating schedules, all of the behind the scenes that no one notices, and then I remember that what I love is not the work, but the mission, and how I get to live that out through the work I do.
There is a great Medium article by Todd Brison, “Your Dream Job is a Lie” that I recommend if you are inspired to do additional reading on this topic.
He describes the tradeoff of the pleasant and unpleasant aspects of any job: “It’s a law of nature: every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Every work benefit has an equal and opposite disappointment. Maybe that’s the way it is supposed to be. The difficulties of work-life are what makes the reward so sweet.”
I couldn’t agree with this more. To me, at 24 years old, although I could change my mind, it’s about finding the balance of choosing a job or career that motivates you just enough to get out of bed everyday. To not hate your career to me, is more practical than loving it. Simon Sinek, one of my favorite authors once tweeted, “Working hard for something we don't care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion.” That I believe is very true.
